I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
im holly from the hills drunk
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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