Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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