What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
