i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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