Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
