I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
