Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
