So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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