Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
