I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
