god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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