Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
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You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
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We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.