Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand

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(561): View more from Florida

Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed

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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.

(1-913): View more from Kansas

So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.

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(530): View more from California

Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.

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25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Read it at the TFLN blog
(714): View more from California

You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!

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(949): View more from California

When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless

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(309): View more from Illinois

trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit

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(740): View more from Ohio

See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want

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(212): View more from New York

He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.

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