Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(650): View more from California

what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?

Fav 19 3114 853
share tweet
(905): View more from Toronto

Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language

Fav 17 4837 880
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(501): View more from Arkansas

i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.

Fav 10 3634 1586
share tweet
(847): View more from Illinois

I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.

Fav 17 5455 1709
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!

Fav 14 9643 2031
share tweet
(607): View more from New York

Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend

Fav 2 949 630
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD

Fav 10 1955 802
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(707): View more from California

Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.

Fav 4 35 70
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(434): View more from Virginia

What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?

Fav 0 59 15
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT