i think my tv is drunk
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
