What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land