i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I cuddled with a man named Pickles