Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
