I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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