Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
