we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
