Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
NoShamevember. You game?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
