I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
