she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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