she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
