I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
