We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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