He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
