If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
