he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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