yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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