Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
