the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize