Well douche your snatch and let's go!
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
