it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
