Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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