Well douche your snatch and let's go!
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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