I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
