we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
