I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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