if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
