He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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