I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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