We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
