Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
