I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
