The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Randomize
