Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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