Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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