I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
