You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
