Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
