I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
