Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
