i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
nutella sex= disaster
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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