32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize