This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
