We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
