Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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