Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
