To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
