I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
