I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
