This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
