I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
kristin has been a bad kristin
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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