RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
All I want is dick and wine.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize