i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
