He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize