so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
